i want this man to feel the same, but i know he wont, deep down inside. so i start feeling hurt, start becoming nostalgic about when i thought it would work out.
my heart is such a fragile thing. and its easy to try and satisfy my need for a connection to another human being through random, and not so random sexual encounters. to get it deeper is to eventually be let down.
to sit next to the phone, constantly glancing over at it, expecting, hoping, wishing for a ring. and wishing for that to be him.
stop. i must see the signs and i must stop.
i must let myself down.
